on my last nerve

lately i've been feeling let down and incredibly irritated by a lot of people in my life. sometimes i don't know who to turn anymore. my sister and her boyfriend owe me money for their portion of the cell phone bill. i added their phone lines to my plan to be nice so we could all keep in touch as long as she paid it and paid it on time.......well......our service got suspended because they didn't give my any money. they still haven't payed me for may or june. my portion of the bill has been paid for awhile now, but i can't get my service restored until the rest of the balance is paid.....they owe me $970. that's bullshit. they don't care about what i did for them and they also aren't taking into consideration that they're fucking up my credit and that my phone is all i have to get in touch with people.

i talked to her today and asked if she had the money and she said no. i was like "what the fuck!?!?!" i've been telling her for over two months. then she said "well, i'm not worried about getting the money to you in any hurry because you're not getting our lines turned back on." uhhhhhh....can you blame me!?!?!??! i am so pissed. how fucking incredibly ungrateful can somebody possibly be? i don't know what else to do. i love my sister to death but she can be the most ungrateful bitch at times, like now. so far i've been paying on it myself so i can get my service back, and when they do give me the money i'll just you use it to buy shoes or somethin ;)

all eyes on.....dog ears.

last sunday brandi, loren, kristin, and i went to the matches show at the creepy crawl.....ok.....lol.....during 'dog eared page', some random drunk dude is dancing around to his own music in his head being drunk and stupid. he then proceeds to take off his shoes and put them up to his ears (dog ears). this guy is disrupting my concert experience because he can barely stand and he's jumping around and screaming with his shoes to his ears. he keeps bumping into me and kristin and using us as crutch's so he wouldn't fall....kristin finally had enough of it so she took my water bottle and hit him over the head with it. he just looked around like he was lost...and kept doing what he was doing. he leaves for a few songs and then comes back during 'little maggots'......he still has his shoes off but this time his kind of rubbing his filthy shoes all over his face and slapping them together like he's a fucking seal..ar ar...lol....and then (the best part) he starts doing some matrix type dance leaning back and forth really slow. i missed most of the show because my attention was on the weird guy...lol....ahhh. fun times :)

overcoming obstacles....walking through snow.

the other day i had a very vivid dream that i was driving alone and all of a sudden it started snowing. i was watching the snow fall from my car and i remember thinking that it was so peaceful and beautiful........ and the next thing i know i'm walking uphill in melted snowy slush with cars driving really fast by me. this dream for some reason i remembered very well, i have no idea why. i hardly ever remember my dreams.

i remember back when i was in college i did a paper on dream interpretations for my psychology class and pretty much ever since then i've been trying to interpret my dreams, and i've found some pretty fascinating things that seem to be true. for instance....my dream with the snow signifies..... (i found this on a website)

"inhibitions, repressed/unexpressed emotions and feelings of frigidity. you need to release and express these emotions and inhibitions. you may also be feeling indifferent, alone and neglected. if the snow is melting then it suggests that you are acknowledging and releasing those emotions you have repressed. you are overcoming your fears and obstacles."

"to dream that you are watching the snow fall, represents a clean start and a fresh, new perspective. it is indicative of spiritual peace and tranquility. "
.....i find it very interesting that the snow falling signifies this because that's exactly how i remember feeling in my dream.

i also looked up 'walking' to see if that had any significance and this is what i found.....

"to dream that you have difficulties walking, indicates that you are reluctant and hesitant in proceeding forward in some situation. you may also be trying to distance yourself from certain life experiences. the difficulty in walking is a reflection of your current situation and the obstacles that you are experiencing."

that's really weird because when i think about it that sounds pretty true.