You are never alone......God always listens

When it comes down to it, i'm realizing more about myslef now than i ever have before and surprsingly enough to me.....i'm fine with it.....and accepting it. There are people i have met that have changed me and my outlook on life and because of it i also feel i have a deeper connection with God. one 'incident' in particular totally opened my eyes in the sense that God IS real and he DOES listen. i know this now. and i can honestly say i am thankful.

this 'incident' i'm talking about oddly enooguh happend to be one of the best weekends i have probably ever had....from oct. 6-11 i was pretty much....on vacation. my best friend of 10 years was getting married in cinncinati so i drove from missouri to there for that, and the day after the wedding good charlotte was playing at the metro in chicago (and obvioulsy i was going to that). my friends and i have traveled all over to see them because it's like a big reunion with everybody from all over when we go to gc shows...ok. anyway. i had only planned on going to the shows in chicago and milwaukee, buuuuuuuuuuuuttt, kristin convinced me to go to detroit and coloumbus, so i did. i had only brought enough money to last those last couple days so i was strectching every dollar i could. by the time the coloumbus show rolled around i was completey out of money. i had used the rest of my credit line on my credit card. i had already over-drawn my account to get gas earlier and i had maybe $25 left. which was supposed to get me from coloumbus, ohio to the middle of missouri.

i know i didn't budget my money well and i'm a dumbass for going on an all out shopping spree in milwaukee spending over $100 on a purse and over $200 on clothes and shit. i know i fucked up there.

thankfully i have AMAZING friends and they bought me food and kristin gave me $20 for gas when we got to indianapolis (she lives there)....and from there it was all in the hands of God if i made it home. i had ZERO dollars. no gas. and my cell phone was out of minutes because i was using a minute phone at the time. i was just hoping and praying the whole time.

after not sleeping in almost 24 hours and driving for 10 hours straight......somehow in the middle of freaking illinois in the middle of nowhere and with cornfields for miles my tire blew. and i don't mean any oridinary flat. my tire pretty much like exploded from my car...i pulled over and i was like "that's just fucking great. what am i gonna do???" i was trying to remember back when my dad would change my tires for me and i would watch...i went i my trunk, moving my system, luggage and a bunch of other crap to get to the spare. once i got that i realized i had no idea how to jack up my car...i was soooooo deliriously tired i started crying uncontrollaby and trying to wave down people to help but NOBODY stopped to help me. i tried to figure it on my own in the freezing cold frigid windy morning.......i couldn't figure it out for the life of me and i just collapesed next to my car crying like i have never cried before praying to God asking him to send me somedody to help me..i kept saying that over and over again crying my eyes out not knowing what to do....

the next thing i know i look up and there is a man pulled over walking towards my car with the most comforting smile. he said "it looks like you could use some help?" i just noded and cried some more. and then he rubs my arm and says everything will be ok. this nice man fixes my tire for me and then asks me where i was from and i told him central missouri. he said i shouldn't drive that far on a doughnut so he tells me the next town over might have a used tire i can get for cheap. i start crying again and i say i don't have any money. the man then says he's gonna make some calls and see what he can do.

i follow him to the next town and turns out the man called his pastor and the church that he goes to got me a brand new tire for my car so i could go home. when the pastor came to the shop to tell me i couldn't stop crying. all he said was 'God bless you'..and smiled.

...................from this moment on i find myself more and more everyday thanking God and talking to Him more.

i know He was looking out for me that day and that fact that the man turned out to be a truck driver (which my mom is which also told me my Nanny was looking out for me) and the men that helped me were men of God. that moment completely changed me.

i think about them everyday i tell God i hope they know how much they've helped some random girl that they've never met. there are good people in this world. amazing people. and i am forutnate enough have to come across some of them and in a sense have them in my life.......

i wouldn't trade the experiences i have had for anything. i'm learning. i'm growing. i'm accepting. and even though i'm not exactly where i want to be in life or have my trure love yet.....or should i say they haven't found me ;).....i'm fine with that. i'll all come together and right now i'm taking it day by day just doing what God has planned for me.